And in the end.... the love you give is equal to the love you take.

Our annual mother-daughter trip came to end with a pancake breakfast. After a frustrating attempt to get a hotel room in Harrogate and a long drive to Carrie’s home, we woke to a nice Sunday morning breakfast. Our trip was over. In the days that followed I basked in the warm light of good memories but somehow tried to put a finger on what I discovered on this trip. I already knew that I loved my daughters enormously, think that they are wonderful people and am glad of the time we get to spend together. It was what I learned about England that almost eluded me. As an ex-pat in England traveling is way to understand the country I have lived in for almost 10 years now.

I know I will never be British (although I passed the test and God know I will never lose my accent!) I am unwilling to give up my New Yorkness and Americaness. I can't, those places are in my blood. But will I ever fully understand and appreciate what it means to be British? For me, one of the ways is to understand history and place. This past week, I got a glimpse into the history of the industrial north. What it must have been like to work in a 19^th century factory! To live in grimy, smoke choked cities (wait - aren't I doing that now?). Literature is a source of pride and in the Dales and Moors I saw that farming, the countryside and a rural way of life is still important here. I think above all else a sense of England’s own history is what is at the forefront of Britishness. The English go to great lengths to protect its heritage. It is apparent in the organizations they have built to protect it (National Trust & English Heritage to name but two!) and the numerous documentaries you see on TV like A Picture of Britain and How We Built Britain. There is a huge push to make Britain a homogenous society but I don’t know if that will ever happen. I realize not everyone can afford a week in Yorkshire. There are so many diverse and wonderful immigrants contributing to the making of the new modern Britain. The effort made for foreigners to have some understanding of the Britain of the past is tremendous but I hope in the future there is some recognition and protection of what is now. I struggle with people (some Americans I know mostly) who rarely make an attempt to understand anything about the place they live. Being an expat is not just about London and traveling. It is about discovering what it means to be British. Exploring what is important here: ceremony, history, national pride, good manners, English football (and beating the Germans again!), music, the seaside holiday, pets, politics, malt vinegar, expressions like wanker and all the other little things you learn when you make the effort. Ok, Enough of the soapbox!

All in all I am happy that I had some time to come close to touching the face of what Britain is about and besides our family always gets a big kick out of unusual place names!